Charles Barkley? You Mean the Guy from Space Jam

The baby people and I have been down and out with sinus nastiness for the last two weeks. In case you're curious, two weeks being basically homebound with two 19 month olds is a lot like what I imagine being trapped in a McDonald's Play Place would feel like, only louder, and perhaps messier. By day 10 we were desperate for an outing, so we headed to Target with no real agenda.

Cruising up the aisles somewhat aimlessly while the baby people were (mildly) entertained by looking around, I remembered that they needed more toothpaste. "Good work, memory, for making this trip slightly less pointless," I thought to myself. Just as we arrived at the toothpaste aisle, I noticed an enormous man in athletic gear. Enormous probably isn't even the best word choice, perhaps mammoth, gigantic, or just really freakin' huge would do the situation more justice. And, he was blocking the section of shelves that held the toddler toothpaste. While waiting for the giant to move, I realized that I had seen this guy before. Staring without trying to look like I was staring, my brain scrolled through my mental Rolodex (my brain is still old school and uses a Rolodex-not Linkedin) and stopped on Space Jam. This was totally one of the guys from that sweet 90's classic....which means that this guy was (is?) also an NBA big wig. I'm pretty sure I should have recognized him from sports, but I obviously spend way more time watching super awesome movies starring athletes (I'm looking at you, critically acclaimed Shazaam in which Shaq plays a genie. It's a real gem) than I do watching ESPN.

All Star Cast of Space Jam? You know it.

Finally, he turned to the side and I placed the name -  Charles Barkley. So, Charles Barkley and the baby people needed toothpaste at Target....nothing out of the ordinary here. The man mountain Barkley turned and saw me standing there awkwardly. I assume he was waiting for me to ask to take a picture or sign a kid or something, but little did he know that I fully planned on not interacting with him because I am VERY uncool when talking to famous people (which has happened like three times in my life).

"Am I in the way?" He boomed.
"Ummmmmmmm, no, not at all, I just need some kid toothpaste......ahhhhh.....for my kids." First of all, who am I to tell Charles Barkley that yes, you are in the way, and furthermore, why shouldn't I explain that kid toothpaste would in fact be for my kids?
"Are those babies twins? I love twins!" And with that, Charles Barkley lowered his giant self to be eye level with the baby people who were sitting nonchalantly in their stroller. Note to self- next time I meet someone from Space Jam, or any other famous person, I'll take a page from the J and A playbook and try to act underwhelmed-it reads way cooler than awkward and nerdy which is my usual mojo.
"You guys give high fives?" He asked as Jack grinned and Avery acted coy. With that, Barkley gave them each a high five.
"Do good in school," he told them as he stood up and walked away.

NBA superstar? No big deal. 

I grabbed the toothpaste and backed out of the aisle. CB (I feel like we're cool now, so I can call him this) was swarmed by shoppers asking for pictures and autographs. He was remarkably nice and spent a bit of time with them before heading to the check out lines. I didn't want to seem stalkerish (but I will- give it a minute), so I got in the line near him where I proceeded to take a sneaky under the arm picture of him waiting. Stars-they wait in line at Target just like us! We paid, nodded when the cashier asked in a hushed whisper if we had seen Charles Barkley, and with that, our big outing drew to a close.

Nothing to see here.....just a blurry shot of Charles Barkley's arm....

The take aways? The baby people are much cooler than me (except that I'm potty trained-boom), Charles Barkley (as seen in Space Jam) is phenomenally nice, and someday, if my kids start doing poorly in school, I will absolutely be able to say, "Pull it together! What would Charles Barkley think?"